Limiting Prayers

I think every time I am part of a group praying for requests I am struck by the way we pray. “Lord, be with__________ as they are going through…” I am as guilty of this as anyone, but I always find this to be a bad request to make. It comes easily, I’m not sure why, perhaps because we here it so often, or perhaps because it’s easier than praying for things that we aren’t sure he’ll answer. I mean, God is ALWAYS with us. We don’t have to ask him to be with us during difficult times. We need to step up and ask God for the things that are hard to ask for. “God, please take away the pain of ________ as they recover from ________”, “Lord, please let ____________ feel your overwhelming love for him during his time of loss”, etc.

I find it’s especially easy to pray “Lord be with…” when I don’t really know the person I’m praying for, but we still should be able to ask for something more specific. I wonder if we miss out seeing the amazing ways God answers prayer because we don’t go out on a limb and ask for something big and impossible. I wonder if we have “limited” God by asking him for something that doesn’t need to be asked for. I realize we often don’t feel God with us, we often overlook his presence in our lives, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t there. If we are really going to go to a “default setting” when praying we should at least change it so that we’re saying “Lord, allow _______ to feel your presence” or something like that.

As long as we are simply asking God to “be with” someone we are going to miss God’s answer to our prayers. This week my goal is to never simply pray, “Lord be with…” but instead take the time to figure out specifically what I am asking God to do for that person.

Justice or Mercy?

Last night we got a group of mainly high school kids, but also upper elementary kids and adults, to sleep outside in order to raise awareness of homelessness and also as a fundraiser for an organization providing housing for families. This was our first year participating, and I decided to keep things low key, we watched a video and did a couple activities to try and better understand what things can lead to a person being homeless as well as what it is actually like to be homeless. Of course, the biggest part of the experience was sleeping outside in the cold and on the hard ground and gaining a better understanding of what it is like to have to do that night after night, day after day. I also was nice and left a part of the building open so people could use a real bathroom if they needed it.

We had about 20 people participate for some or all of it. 4 people only stayed for part of the time, the rest spent the night. While the majority of the people did what you were supposed to do- sleep outside- 4 kids decided to sit inside the building and not sleep. They waited until everyone had gone to bed before moving inside, and at 4:30 when I got up and saw them I was too out of it to argue. So 4 kids spent the night warm and awake. Not really the point of the exercise, but hopefully they got something from it anyway.

In the morning we had breakfast and talked a bit about the experience. I asked everyone if spending the night like that had changed how they would treat homeless people they encountered. One of the boys said “no, they made the choice to be homeless they can help themselves”. I was shocked, first of all, why would you choose to spend the night outside like that if you didn’t think homeless people deserve assistance? But more than that, I couldn’t believe that after the stories we had heard to start the night and the activities we did throughout he honestly believed this. In response I tried to remind him of some of the stories we had heard- a woman and her husband with only high school diplomas ended up homeless two months after her husband lost his job and couldn’t find another one, they had two kids and didn’t do anything wrong really. We also saw how non-skilled labor jobs don’t pay enough to afford a home, or else you can barely afford someplace to live, but if you get sick you’re going to have to choose between a doctor or your home. He didn’t budge and I didn’t want it to turn into an argument, so I let it go. But then I got to thinking about how I should have responded.

Regardless of why a person is homeless or struggling, we are called to help them. This might not mean giving them money, but it does mean that as Christians we are expected to reach out to them. I should happily give my extra coat, or buy a sandwich for the guy on the corner, or provide a ride for someone who needs it, regardless of what their choices have been that brought them to their place of need. We aren’t told to serve people because they deserve it, we are told to serve people to show them Christ’s love. And Christ’s love is above everything else an act of totally undeserved mercy and love. Why a person is living on the street or traveling from shelter to shelter doesn’t matter. The fact that they need something I can provide does. What can I do this week to help someone in need? What can you do?

Blinded

Sunday was World Hunger Sunday, and like I would imagine many churches did our sermon focused on that very subject. Before the service I was talking with our pastor’s wife and she was sharing with me a struggle she had from the day before. They had gone downtown and had noticed that on every corner and every place they went there were people begging. She said at first she was overwhelmed by the amount of need, but by the end of the day she wasn’t even noticing them anymore.  Our pastor shared about seeing all the need and being overwhelmed by it as well, although from the pulpit he didn’t share having gotten to the point of no longer noticing the beggers, so I don’t know if his experience was the same as hers.

This all happened during the day when I was sitting by a table with a tent set up trying to get donations, pledges actually, for our youth and other church members to spend Saturday night sleeping outside, getting a taste of what it means to be homeless, and hopefully raising some money and awareness at the same time. So Sunday morning I sat with a couple kids trying to raise awareness of what we’re doing, and hopefully get some people who didn’t want to sleep out with us to give us money. A lot of people stopped and talked with me about what we are doing and they seemed genuinely interested and thought it was a great idea. 12:45 P.M. Sunday I’m packing up the tent and looking at a list of pledges with exactly 0 names. After all our promotion, after all the conversations I had had we didn’t get a single person pledging financial support. And this after these people sat in church listening to a sermon about giving.

In preperation for our Saturday sleeping out I have been doing a lot of studying and researching about homelessness. I’m trying to make it personal. A little while ago someone commented that I should read “Under the Overpass” and so I picked up a copy of the book. It’s very easy to read, as it seems to be written for an audience as young as junior high possibly? Two guys volunarily experience homelessness in several different U.S. cities over the course of about 5 months. Some of the book didn’t resonate with me, but two things in particular did. First is what seems a pretty obvious thing, the journey they describe puts a human face to homelessness. It allows someone who has never experienced what it’s like to be homeless to better understand what it means to be homeless. I think I got a glimpse of this during mission trips I’ve been on too. I’m always amazed at what seems to make the biggest impact on people. The second thing that struck me was reading how various churches and/or so called Christians responded to these “homeless” guys. It was a slap in the face to read about how some of these churches and people treated homeless people, because I more often than not have responded similarly. It’s easy to ignore need and think to yourself that if you gave them money they’d just go buy drugs or alcohol (which may be true, but there are other things we can do instead that are at least as meaningful).

I can sit in church and write all the blogs I want about being the hands and feet of Christ, but if I don’t step out and start acting like it it’s all meaningless. I’m not sure what I think about our planned event to raise awareness. I think it’s great to become more aware of what homeless families and individuals are dealing with, but I think it’s far more important to go and show those people Christ’s love, even though we cannot possibly understand what they endure every day. And I don’t think this necessarily means giving them money. I think we can start simply by acknowledging that they are human beings. And hopefully from there I can become more willing and able to show them the love of God in a true and helpful way.

Identity

One of the things I am continually trying to get youth to do is not just give the “right” answer. I find especially since I work with kids who have grown up in the church they always know the answer that is “right” and more often than not will give that answer even when I try to trick them into thinking differently. I’ve been frustrated by this because I really want them to be thinking about what it is they believe and not just regurgetating what the church says.

And then I realized that I do the exact same thing they are doing only in a different area. When I’m studying the Bible or trying to answer questions in the study I’m working on I will stop and think and then answer the way I have been tought to answer. And this is just me on my own with God. No one I need to impress, no one looking for a “right” answer. But these ideas that I have spent so much time with are so ingrained in my thinking that I don’t even stop to think if it’s really what I believe and think.

“Do you believe that God knew you before you even had a name?” Of course, the Bible says that, the church has been saying that forever, of course God knew me before I had a name, he created me, he created the world. Duh, that’s too easy. But then I stopped and really thought about it, and I do believe he knew me before anyone else knew me. But I realized at the same time that there has been this disconnect between my mind and my soul. I think that having these answers from the church that are supported by the Bible ingrained in my mind are wonderful things. The “right” answers aren’t wrong. But I need to make sure that my answers aren’t just my automatic response of things I have learned in my head. My answers need to be based on what I believe in my heart and soul.

I think we have done a really good job in the church of teaching the right answers. I believe that a child growing up in the church is going to graduate from high school with everything they need to make it in the world. But I think the problem is that we are teaching the head and not the soul. Even when I know the right answer or the right thing to do, and even if I agree with it, if it hasn’t moved from my intellectual data base to my become a part of who I am then when I am put on the spot I may vascilate. I may waiver, because I realize that while I know the correct response it is not part of who I am.

Yes, the church needs to do a better job integrating youth and adults. We need to do a better job keeping young adults involved in the church. We need to do a better job serving our community and evangelizing. But maybe part of the solution to all of this lies in doing a better job of connecting the head with the soul. Maybe if we figured out how to help members integrate everything they have been taught and believe into becoming their identity some of these other things would fall into place.

Honesty

A little over a week ago I was sitting on my couch reading my Bible trying to keep my mind from wandering all over the place when I decided to just quit. Instead I opened up my journal and wrote our a prayer to God pouring out my true feelings at that moment. Being completely honest for the first time in months with both myself and God. It was amazing what followed. For days after that I was talking to God, I was listening for God, and actually hearing him speak. Things were clicking like they hadn’t for a long time and it was wonderful.

I love what God is doing in my life right now. I love that he has taken my honesty and pushed me. I love that I am feeling exhilerated and terrified at the same time. That first day has lead to others, and on Saturday I started the day being blindsided by a realization of what I believe has been standing in the way of my relationship with God. And the rest of the day I spent time on and off working through this, taking this to God and wrestling with it. It was exhausting. But it was so refreshing. Sunday I woke up excited for the day and ready to see what God had in store for me.

Monday night I had small group. I’m not a big fan of my small group, but I was excited because we are currently studying “Walking with God” which is about listening to God, and that’s what I felt my entire week had been about. So I was looking forward to being able to share this amazing experience with the group. And then I didn’t.

Before leaving I had spent time asking God for courage, asking God to allow me to share what he had been doing in my life without sugar coating it, without putting on the cloak of the “good Christian”, and in a way that would honestly reflect what I had been experiencing. I was genuinely ready to go in there and while I wasn’t going to share all the details, I had no intention of hiding the reality of things either. But it didn’t happen.

Yes, I was scared, but it was more than that. I didn’t feel I had the opportunity. I didn’t feel that this group of people were the right people to share it with, and most of all I chickened out. I think. I’m not sure that’s really true. I think God was protecting me a little, because I’m not sure we as a group are in that place yet and if I had shared honestly it might have come back to bite me. And if I had left too much out it would have diminished the point of the entire week.

For now I’m waiting. I’m waiting to share this story of how wonderfully God is working in my life right now. I would love to share it today. I would love to sit down and tell you all about it. But I think I’m not ready yet. I think God is saying, “hold on, wait a minute, don’t go watering down what I’m doing, don’t go making this a lovey dovey story, wait until you can tell it all and tell it truthfully”. So for now I am waiting, because I know that I cannot tell it all yet. Right now I cannot be totally honest about what it is that God has done for me because I cannot be totally honest about why those things needed to be done.

You might be wondering why I even share this all with you if it is only to say, “I have something to say but I’m not going to say it”. To be honest, the reason is simple. It’s because I need the reminder. I need this to be here to remind me why I am not sharing about the things God is doing right now, becuase it would be so easy to tell you about how amazing God is and not be honest about how fallen I am. I am working on becoming the person who can be honest- with God, with myself, with those around me. And I think the first step to being honest is to admit that I am not being honest.

I hope soon I can share the amazingness of what God is doing in my life with people. Until then I want to be honest by saying I am not ready to be honest about it all yet. And this is a really long post to say that.

Long-Term Planning

Money. It’s front and center in our lives more now than before I think. We have less, or think we have less of it, and so giving it away becomes a bigger issue. Like pretty much every organization in the country right now our church is dealing with not having as much money coming in as we used to. I was liking how we addressed this. It was via personal contact from deacons and a Q & A time between services where people could find out what exactly is going on in the church. It was healthy and it didn’t “preach” that we needed to be giving more in order to become better Christians.

Until yesterday. Yesterday the sermon was on giving. I don’t think I would have had a problem with the sermon ordinarily. Our pastor did not really even focus a lot on giving more because our church is struggling or that sort of thing. But in the wake of these other attempts at getting people to give as they were before (it’s funny how we have only a handful of unemployed people but nearly everyone is giving less these days) the sermons seems to come off as another attempt to get people to open their pocketbooks and give more money to the church.

One redeeming thing about this sermon and the timing was that much of the focus on giving to the church talked about how we are unable to do what we need/should be doing for the community because we don’t have the money in the budget to do these things. While I think we could do a lot with no money, I did appreciate that it wasn’t as much about helping our church to help our church. I know this was a legitimate thing because it has been our pastor’s focus since he arrived, connecting with our community.

All of this is really just to say that we are in the midst of a pretty major decision. There is very limited land and the house directly next to our church, between a house we own and the church building, is for sale. The house is 100k less than it was the last time it was for sale, so it’s a great price. But money is tight, and if we already cannot do what we should be doing in and for the community then buying a house isn’t a good idea. There’s a committee meeting trying to figure out how we can afford to buy the house, so that in case we decide the church needs to build an addition or something we have the land and can do it. Not that long-range planning is unimportant, but I think this is absolutely ridiculous.

The church isn’t going to grow. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I mean that the way we do church is evolving. Small communities are what work, and they are going to become more and more popular. Sure, in 10 years we may have enough people to make it reasonable to add an addition. But I do not believe that in 10 years we will NEED to build an addition. We could triple in size and have no need for structural changes (well, probably new paint and carpet and things, but that’s not the point). Our sanctuary sits more than half empty every morning. We have a good size room that can/could be used as a gym for almost all activities. We already have land that would allow us to grow. And we are currently unable to afford to do what we are called to do. Because of money we are not being the church right now. What good does adding another house do? What good is planning for the future if we cannot live as the church in the present?

I was asked what I thought about the purchase of the house because they are thinking largely in terms of youth and young adult needs in terms of building in the future. And I told them this, basically. But they are still moving forward, and I respect that they are seeing the long term needs and doing what they can in the present to make possible future needs possible. But isn’t there something seriously wrong when we are so worried about what we, the people in the church, will need in 10 years that we cannot provide for what the people all around us need right now?

The church of the New Testament didn’t acquire property in order to plan for the future. They collected money and split it among everyone so that everyone was cared for. Perhaps with their excess they then purchased property or other types of things. But first they cared for the community. We need to re-evaluate what the church is doing before we begin deciding that the future demands the sacrifice of the present.

Rapture Ready

I have a list of about 20 books that I want to read but cannot find at the library. I finally got around to getting “Rapture Ready!” by Daniel Radosh, a book about Christian pop culture. I love it. First, I am one of the many cynics of the Christian sub-culture, which is probably why I was enticed by the book in the first place. Second, it’s remarkably non-judgmental of the culture. Third, I truly had NO idea about some of the insane things we so called Christians do, Bible amusement parks? Really? And finally, it’s enlightening. I have spent my life as a member of this Christian culture. I cannot see from outside the box, and what I like most about this book is it is opening my eyes to things I would never have realized before. The way we say things, the way we act, even, and perhaps especially, when acting in love, aren’t received that way. Granted, Radosh at least recognizes the intent behind things, but I have been blind to the fact that when we do things that are meant to be move inclusive of non-Christians we are alienating them further, or at least putting something else between us and them. Man, I cannot seem to do a decent job of explaining the impact of this book on me right now. I would highly suggest picking up a copy for yourself. You can buy it on Amazon marketplace for less than $2.

Being Good

Are you good without God? Millions are.

Unfortunately this is what a coalition of humanist and atheist groups decided to put up on a billboard. I say it’s unfortunate because it is probably effective. Ignoring the error of the idea that we can be good without God, this sign goes against what we as Christians believe.

If someone asks you if you are good, you most likely will say yes. The majority of people believe they are good, or at least believe they are striving to be good. So when you see a billboard like that it’s easy to agree. Yeah, I’m good. Yeah, it’s not because of God. Yeah, you’re right, I don’t need God to be good. To simplify things, let us say that this is all fine and well and possibly true.

Being good is not the point of it all. Being good is not the reason we are Christians. Being good is not why we believe in God. But, perhaps this is what we show to people. Perhaps they see Christians as people who believe in God and become good, or at least that we think that’s the point of it all. But that’s not it.

I don’t believe in God because I think that will make me a better person. In fact, my belief in God DOESN’T make me a better person. Belief doesn’t change anything. Grace changes me. The point of grace isn’t to make me good. The point of grace is that I can have a relationship with God. The point of it all then is not to become good, but to have a relationship with the Creator.

I hope the book (there’s a book with the same or similar title as what the billboard says) and billboard don’t reflect the broader culture’s view of Christians. We don’t believe in God in order to become better people. We believe in God because he is real. We have faith because we know that through grace we can have a relationship with God. Yes, that relationship should mean we become better people, but it isn’t, and never should be, the point.

Isaiah 59

There’s nothing wrong with God; the wrong is in me.

My wrongheaded life caused the split between me and God.

Which means that I’m a far cry from fair dealing, and I’m not even close to right living.

I long for light but sink into darkness, long for brightness but stumble through the night.

Like the blind, I inch along a wall, groping eyeless in the dark.

I shuffle my way in broad daylight, like the dead, but somehow walking.

I’m no better off than bears, groaning, and no worse off than doves, moaning.

I look for justice- not a sign of it; for salvation- not so much as a hint.

My wrongdoings pile up before you, God, my sins stand up to accuse me.

My wrongdoings stare me down; I know in detail what I’ve done:

    Mocking and denying God, not following my God,

    Spreading false rumors, inciting sedition,

    Pregnant with lies, muttering malice.

    Justic is beaten back, Rightenousness is banished to the sidelines,

    Truth staggers down the street, Honesty is nowhere to be found,

    Good is missing in action.

Anyone renouncing evil is beaten and robbed.

Here, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye…

A little less than a year ago Californian’s voted against gay marriage. As we all probably remember this caused quite an uproar among the gay population. Before I continue I need to be clear about something- I am not suggesting I support a homosexual lifestyle, however, I also cannot condemn homosexuality. That said, I stumbled across this video on youtube.

It’s rather deprecating to be sure. I mean, in essence it mocks the very idea of marriage by presenting these outrageous ideas and suggestions. But I believe that in addition to the negative there is a very honest idea. A genuine question that I think we in the church need to answer.

If we truly hold marriage as being sacred, why are we so accepting of divorce?

There are many passages in the Bible about divorce. In Malachai as part of his condemning of wickedness God says “I hate divorce”. That’s pretty straightforward. Jesus comes and says,  ”Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6)

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”. So it’s justified to say that we do not believe homosexuals will go to heaven, but it’s also fair to say that pretty much all of us fall into one of the categories listed here. As sad as it is, most Christians today are still not free of these traps. Most of us, myself included still idolize, still fall prey to adultery (remember, Jesus says that anyone who thinks it does it).

My question then is this: as a Christian, is it correct for me to oppose the legalization of gay marriage?

I think of Jesus’ admonishment that we need to remove the plank from our own eye before we can attempt to remove the speck from the other person’s eye. As long as we are accepting of divorce, as long as we turn the other way when we see people having sex outside of marriage, as long as we condone the over-sexualized culture we are a part of, we cannot tell these people that they have no right to get married.

Am I missing something here? Is there a reason the church at large seems ignorant of this seemingly obvious idea? Why is it we can get all worked up about homosexual marriage and not even blink when we go to watch a movie where the woman cheats on her husband? Why do we mourn the disintegration of a marriage instead of being angry about it (I’m not referring to being angry at the people so much as being angry about another divorce)?

I don’t disagree with the people who are standing on the street corner claiming marriage is sacred. They are absolutely right. But the downfall of marriage does not lie with allowing same-sex marriages. It lies with us being willing to trivialize it from the start. Until we make marriage truly sacred once again we have absolutely no place telling two men in love that they cannot marry. Until we do our job as the church to return the sacredness of marriage to where it was created to be by fighting against cultural norms of sexuality, by fighting against divorce, by fighting against extra-marital sex, by changing our cultural norm we absolutely cannot say no to homosexual marriage. Unless you really want to try to take that speck out while working around the plank in your own eye. Good luck with that.