Change is hard. It forces us to a place of unknown. We like the known, the usual, the comfortable. But change is good, change is necessary. There is no easy change, there can only be easier change. I think I already blogged about change a little bit ago, but it is a big part of my life right now. We are making a fairly dramatic change to our program for Sr. High. I am super excited about it, but I am also terrified. What if it fails? What if people don’t like the new? What if this isn’t what God is actually calling us to right now? What if half way through I accidently revert back to the old? How am I going to find the leaders for this new ministry when it requires more than we have had in the past? Where will I find people with the skills to lead? What if I fail? All these questions and doubts and fears keep running through my mind. Right now I’m excited enough and passionate enough about this change to push them away, but that’s not really how we should deal with fear and doubt is it? I’m trying to take these things to the Lord and trust him with them, but that’s hard. I know part of why it’s hard is because it means letting go completely. I’m not an arrogant person, but there’s something about knowing I was a part of somthing good that makes me want some of the credit. But it all belongs to God and I need to learn to turn over everything to him, whether it’s a soaring success or leaded failure. I know that this is what God wants from me, from us. I know this because every part of me screams the old way might have brought in some kids, but it didn’t bring kids closer to God. The new way is very intentional about doing this. I’ll post a separate blog about the specifics in case you don’t want them. My point is this- it’s hard to make a change and willingly give it over to God because this means I am letting go of it, and I like to be in control. I pray that in 6 weeks when I look back at this I can say, yeah, I did that. This is all about God and I’m secure in trusting him to take care of it. But if not, this can be a wake up call to give it up to him.
