The cross stands all alone
only the majesty of a moment shone
Your Grace, oh Lord, is so evident
and the knowledge so abundant
But I fail and lack the heart and so I don’t take part
In the blessing of believing
and then when I start waning
I return to the cross once more
and leave it there, on the floor.
As a kid I used to think people who put stars on top of their Christmas tree were bad Christians or else didn’t believe in Jesus. At the time this seemed completely logical- a star is a geometric shape, an angel is a messenger of God. But sometime in high school (yes, I know, late) I realized that a star is just as much a part of the Christmas story as the angels. When Jesus was born a group of angels went and heralded the news to the shepherds, but the star heralded the news to the wise men. My mom loves angels. Angels are her decoration of choice throughout the year, so she will always put an angel on her tree. But it doesn’t make me a bad Christian if I choose to use a star. Of course, I may end up with an angel on top of my tree as well. What do you top your tree with? Why?
I wanted to write a wonderful post about all the things I am thankful for this year but about four things in I looked at what I had written and realized that everything I was writing was so cliche- family, church, security, health, etc. And I started wondering if I am truly thankful for these things. If it wasn’t Thanksgiving this week would I be thinking about giving thanks for any of this? So often I take for granted that I have a wonderful family- people who love and support me. An extended family that can gather together and enjoy one anothers company. A place where I have experienced the closest thing to the love of God there is on earth. Am I truly thankful for my church? So often I find things I wish were different, I love my church, but am I really thankful for it? Health- perhaps one of the things I generally take most for granted, but recently was reminded of my fortune. But more than my tendancy to take these things for granted and not really be thankful for them, I wonder if I should be thankful for them for the reasons I am. Would I thank God for bringing illness if that was what he believed would help me grow? Would I thank God that I still have him if I lost my family? Yes, these things are blessings, wonderful things for which we should give thanks, and not just once a year, but are these things idols taking the place of God? Would I still be able to be thankful if my life were completely opposite of what it is? Would I still be able to thank God for what he has given me if I lived in Iraq and had to deal with constant war and fear and instability and persecution for being Christian? I hope so.
This Thanksgiving I will give thanks for all the blessings I have been given- but I will give thanks first to God for being a loving, compassionate, merciful, and gracious God who no matter what happens here on earth has blessed me beyond what I deserve. Will you?
I started listening to Christmas music yesterday. It was cold and snowy in the morning and it just felt right. And I really enjoyed the merry tunes playing on my computer. But it got me thinking about Christmas music and what it represents about our attitude about Christmas. So much Christmas music is about being home or with friends and family having a good time celebrating the time of year. Most of the songs about the true meaning of Christmas- the birth of the savior- are peppy, if not in tune at least in message. It made me think about Easter songs. I’m not familiar with any Easter songs that talk about spending time with family and friends celebrating the time of year. Most Easter songs are fairly depressing, even though they typically end joyfully.
In the church we seem to really fight the materialistic aspects of Christmas- at least in word. But no one has a problem with the focus on it being a time for family and fun and merriment. It is rare to hear a sermon during Advent about Jesus’ final days and the sacrifice he made for us. That is a message for Lent. It is during Lent that people give something up that they enjoy- dessert seems to be a common one. During Advent we are busy having parties and celebrating, we over-indulge in sweets. And this is seen as good, as normal. Why?
It’s because we focus so much on the birth of the savior and not on what it cost for him to be our savior. I have already talked about this before, but I keep coming back to it. This past week in Sunday school our lesson was about what makes the claims of the first Christians unique. A lot of Greek and Roman religion taught about a god coming and dying and then coming back to life. This claim is not unique to Christianity. What makes Christianity unique is that God sent his son (God) to be born as a human baby to a human mother and a human father. That baby would grow up as a carpenter’s son and eventually would die a horrible death on the cross and rise again three days later. But it’s not that he did it that is so remarkable, it’s WHY he did it and WHAT he accomplished through it- he died so we could have relationship with him. By dying our death he took our guilt upon himself. No other religion ever claimed that. Maybe we need to remember during our Christmas celebrations that without this death and resurrection, without this tiny baby paying our price, we would have nothing to celebrate. So yes, Christmas is a time of celebration. But it is not a time to celebrate family, it is a time to celebrate the amazing gift we have received from God. Enjoy time with family, have a good time during the merry season, but in your festivities, remember, without the rest of the story there is nothing to celebrate. Without the cross, we have no hope.
During church today I had one of those far too rare moments where the sermon really connected with me. Not that the sermon was that wonderful or great- a lot of what was said I have heard before, the way it was presented wasn’t anything special, but I was convicted.
In college I spent a lot of time with Elisha stories- a LOT of time. I had the privelege of learning drama from a man who has spent the last several years taking Old Testament stories and making them into live plays. Without changing or adding a single word to the biblical text. Some of the earliest work he did was with Elisha narratives. That said, I have heard this particular story several times, in several different ways, but today was a totally different approach than any I have taken. It was a look at the “spiritual slothfulness” of Naamen. Read the story here.
Busyness is not the opposite of slothfulness. We can be busy and still be slothful. We can also seem lazy and actually be productive. While this wasn’t necessarily meant the way it translates for me, I think it could easily be taken this way also. I spend a lot of time reading the Bible, a lot of time studying theories about God, a lot of time reading “Christian” books, etc. But this is busyness, and despite my time spent doing this things, I am still spiritually slothful. I do these things without gaining anything from them. I believe that someone spending 15 minutes a day in devotions is less spiritually slothful than I am. I take for granted the fact that I spend so much time doing these different Christian things, but truthfully none of them are nourishing me, none of them are strengthening my soul. I need to spend more time WITH God instead of so much time studying God. I can spend 23 hours a day doing what I do so much already- reading, studying, educating, and be spiritually slothful. I can spend 1 hour a day being with God and not be. At least, at this moment in time that would be a step in the right direction.
What’s your time with God like? Is it a time you are spending really getting to know God, or are you spending your time like me, studying and learning about God but never really getting to know his heart? That’s what I’m going to try to be better at. And I hope by writing about it I’ll actually remember to follow through.
If you ever watch or read current news, you have probably heard about the car companies trying to get huge chunks of money ($50 Bil.+) from the government. I have mixed feelings about this possible bailout, but in the end my issue really comes down to- when does it stop? First banks/financial institutions, then car manufacturers, then retailers whose product isn’t selling (what’s the difference between these retailers and car manufacturers?), and on and on it goes.
Many years ago, shortly after Bush took office, large companies were given tax breaks if they chose to manufacture outside the U.S. I don’t really know much about the actual plan or incentive, and I don’t care to do any research on it. But what I do know is this killed Michigan. Car companies now had a double incentive to go outside the U.S. to manufacture- they got a tax break from the government and they were able to make the product for significantly less. And slowly these huge companies started letting people go- by the thousands- until finally they were left with only the absolute essentials in America. The buildings became run down and forgotten about- or sold and turned into housing no one could afford. During all this it was the government enabling, supporting, this economic crisis. But few people cared- the car companies were doing great, and Michigan was one of few states hit hard by this.
Fast forward about 5 years. The economy is in crisis. Greedy people have made stupid decisions trying to “get rich fast” and it backfired. So the government comes along and bails them out. Now more people (car companies) who went the way that made them the most money the fastest are struggling to make ends meet. And they think the government should come and bail them out.
But really- these companies have already sent so many jobs outside the country, what right do they have to get money to rescue them? If I were in charge I would go in and restore the old plants and lease them to the car companies-at a ridiculously low rate- if they bring all their work back to America. Because it seems to me that would be a lot more helpful to our economy than giving them outrageous amounts of money to get out of debt.
Honestly, to some degree I think I am just bitter that big companies can get away with only caring about money and not caring about the economy. No matter how they cushion it, how they phrase it, the reality is they didn’t care about the economy when they chose to leave Michigan and other heavy car manufacturing states, why should the U.S. government care about them now? Yeah, it might help the economy a little by not losing those handful of jobs left in the country, but until the car companies are willing to do more to help the economy I don’t think they have any right to request money. And I certainly don’t think the government should be so willing to give it to them. This is my money. I am not paying taxes to bail out large companies who made stupid decisions. I am sick of this nonsense. Take the hit, endure another depression. It might actually be good for us Americans to have to struggle to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, and it certainly wouldn’t be bad for the companies to face the music of their poor choices. Like I said, I’m a little bitter. What do you think?
We have been very fortunate to get some excellent musicians coming to play at our Wednesday night young adult ministry- Agape Cafe a free coffee house w/ live music. Unfortunately, we haven’t been nearly as fortunate getting the people to come listen to our talented musicians. I am feeling very frustrated by this. We started the cafe in the summer, and it went really well. We had at least 15 people every night and a couple times were close to 50. Everyone says this is a great ministry, but few people come. Since summer ended we have had only about 5 people each week. I don’t know what to do.
We have a small group of young adults. We meet two Sunday’s a month right after church. There are about a dozen people in the group. We had our third meeting yesterday. Only 5 people were there. Until we gathered we didn’t know all these people wouldn’t be coming.
We try to do some activity, but no one comes. People say, “Hey, we should do something…” but when we try to no one comes.
What does it take to get twenty-somethings to commit? What do we have to do to get people to want to come? Is it a generation thing or is it specific to this group of people? And why are people such hypocrites, saying they want to do something but then turning around the giving priority to something else…all the time! I’m fed up with my generation. I don’t know what more can be done? Should we just stop trying and accept that no one is going to care enough to help something succeed?
America is a country of immigrants. The only people who can say they are not immigrants are Native Americans, and they are a distinct minority in the U.S. now. So why is it that we are so strongly against letting people in? Are we afraid of losing jobs? Are we worried that by letting more people in we lessen our value as an American? Have we actually become so elitist that we think we have a right to be here, but the woman fleeing the middle east because she has no rights and no freedoms doesn’t? I wonder what would happen if anyone could come to America and live with our freedoms. What if the only thing required to live in America was an agreement to the rules and regulations of America- you pay taxes, you follow the same laws, and you can live in America. People argue a lot of legitimate reasons to not do this, but isn’t this what America is all about?
Why are we so closed off in the church? Aren’t we all sinners saved by God? The only person who had a right to judge was Jesus, and he chose to spend his time with the scum of his time- prostitutes, tax collectors, lepers, beggars, lowly workers. I wonder what would happen if the church threw open it’s doors welcoming in everyone- alcoholics, porn addicts, homosexuals, abortionists, prostitutes, drug addicts, beggars, etc. Preaching and teaching the Word, the Truth, but not judging those walking through the doors. I understand the arguments- what if these people cause us to sin? what if the prostitute distracts the good Christian man from his worship? what if we start to see these “sinners” as people like us? What if the only thing required to be a part of the church was a desire to be? How might we see God move among us in new and powerful ways? What could possibly happen that would make it not worth the risk? Who are we to keep these people out? What will it take for us to change?
It was a pretty typical late winter day. The snow was melting and left behind puddles and mud and dirty salty gross piles of snow. The sky wasn’t clear but it wasn’t overcast either- a strange in between with sun shining through clouds. I wore a light jacket but once we began working I took it off. We had been working on this Habitat house for a while beginning with cleaning out the disgusting basement. Today we were doing more enjoyable work- framing and cleaning up sawdust and nails. We laughed and sang as we worked, enjoying the time together. The only damper on the day was that my two favorite leaders- a husband and wife weren’t there. We had been working just over an hour when they showed up. We all went and started harassing them for being late, when Laura pulled me aside and Fred talked to my youth leader. I was curious what was going on, when Laura told me Esther had committed suicide. I was floored. My best friend and I had been encouraged by Laura and some other people on the worship team (which we were a part of) to ask this woman to join us and from then on we had a special bond. I didn’t know how to respond- the only death I was familiar with was my great-grandma and she had died after suffering from Alzheimers for years. That morning my world was shaken, but that would just be the start.
The church chose to stay very quiet about the actual cause of death- and the family kept it very quiet. Essentially this earth shattering event was swept under the rug. Except it would be like sweeping a mouse under the rug, it kept crawling back out. The police investigated our choir director for murder, the church let him go even after he was cleared of any wrong doing. The family of Esther left our church, and the death caused a divide.
What I hadn’t revealed to anyone was my own struggle with depression. I was never suicidal, but the response of the church to this tragedy left me feeling like I was doing something wrong by being depressed. So I did my best to hide it. Tragedy upon tragedy left me going deeper into the darkness. I cloaked myself in the darkness. Until one day my mom found my journal and decided I needed help. She brought me to the doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant. And I shared this with an older friend, who recommended a counselor. Between the drugs and the counselor and some amazing friends and God’s grace I walked out of the darkness shortly after beginning college.
This is why today I have chosen to write love on my arms. Because if I can make a difference for one person today, if I can help bring awareness to the world regarding depression and suicide, I need to. Because if it wasn’t for people stepping in to help me I don’t even want to think about where I would be.
Don’t treat people with depression like they are doing something wrong. Don’t act like suicidal people are trapped in sin. For almost everyone struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts it is beyond their control. And they may be far more saintly than you or I. Reach out and help them, but please do not judge. I wonder what would have happened if someone had shown Esther the unconditional love that God shows us. I know what a difference love made for me.
I just found this quote on the TWLOHA website. If you have never dealt with depression it may be the best description I have found to help explain it.
“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come — not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”
Walmart has a new commercial for the holiday season with the tag line “Christmas costs less”. I’m not sure why this bothers me more than so many of the other Christmas commercials, but it rubs me the wrong way. I understand Christmas has become a commercial holiday and lost a lot of it’s true meaning years ago, but to say that Christmas costs less makes me feel like we’re saying Christ’s sacrifice cost less than it did. We often focus on the joyous celebration of Christ’s birth at Christmas, yet the moment he entered the world as fully human he sacrificed something. I think of what was given up by him, by his Father, to come to earth. Even before his ministry began he gave up his seat in heaven, even only temporarily, to come to the fallen earth that humankind created from depravity. I think of a young woman who carries a child in her womb for 9 months only to give the child to someone else. There is a sacrifice for the biological mother, a pain that even in the joy of the moment is threatening to overtake her. By looking at the joy of the season, we often forget about the pain and loss required for us to have such joy. At Easter we are fully aware of what it cost for us to gain life, but at Christmas we lose sight of the pain.
The only way for us to have this joy is for someone else (God) to have some pain. We are not responsible for the joy, but we are responsible for the pain. Even the celebration of the birth of Christ is costly. The Father and the Son gladly paid the price for us. Imagine how you would feel if you carried a child in your womb for over 9 months and gave that child to another family only to have them woodenly say thank you before running off to whatever they were doing before. You would be heartbroken and you would wonder if you did the right thing. Perhaps this Christmas instead of focusing so much on what we have we should celebrate the gift we have been given by showing our gratitude to the one who has given it.
Christmas can’t cost less. The price has been paid and nothing we do can repay it or make it less. But then again, would we really want Christmas to be cheap? I certainly wouldn’t. There wouldn’t be much to celebrate if it was.
