A Fine Line

Proposition 8 is back in the news following a California Supreme Court ruling that says the vote to ban gay marriage was indeed constitutional. I’m not sure how I feel. I do not believe that gay marriage is biblical. From what I understand in the Bible there is nothing to support it in any way, and there is plenty of evidence (however open to interpretation you claim it to be) against it. That said, I am not sure how I feel about the constitutionality of banning gay marriage.

I am by no means a government scholar. Perhaps written into our constitution originally is a declaration of marriage being defined as between man and woman. I don’t honestly know, and I don’t really care to go research it. I’ve never read anywhere that it is and adding that definition seems to be the biggest push by conservative groups in various states, so I’m going to assume it isn’t.  And that brings me to a place where I find it hard to figure out that right blance between my personal religious beliefs and my personal political beliefs.

I feel that we Christians in America have a pretty flawed view of what it means to have freedom. We firmly embrace being allowed to worship as we choose, to voice our opinions as we choose, to pray where we want, when we want, and to educate our kids as we choose. But, when it’s another person’s freedoms to believe what they want we fight against it because it goes against our religious beliefs and values. Now, let me clarify one thing here. I am not saying we should not be out to change the world, but I do not think we should be out to take away the freedoms of other people in our attempt to change the world. This is not what Jesus did. Jesus gave people freedom, he never took it away.

This will probably get me in trouble with the majority of Christians out there, but I will not vote against gay marriage. I feel like to do so is not much different than voting to ban marriage between two white people or two black people or whatever. These are people who want to have the right to live a normal life. They want to get married not to be different but to be the same. They aren’t trying to manipulate the system in their favor, they are people trying to have the same rights as any other American. Can you imagine living with your spouse without having the benefits of a civil marriage? You’d be outraged! You can’t get health coverage for your “spouse” because you aren’t actually married. You can’t get the tax breaks or the security of common property.

I would love to see a world where this isn’t an issue. A world where sin doesn’t exist. And I don’t know exactly where to stand on this thin line I’m trying to balance on. One slight step too far over and I know I’m not living as a Christian. But one step too far back and I’m not really living as a Christian then either. I cannot say I support gay marriage. I don’t. But I do support the rights of people as Americans to have the same freedoms as the rest of us. Isn’t that what America is all about anyway?

NoiseTrade

 I love this site. It’s a great place to get free music and find new artists you likely won’t find anywhere else. Right now I’m really enjoying this artist, but there are so many great musicians with music posted I highly reccommend you take some time and go check it out. I think everyone will find something they like. And it’s FREE!

 

A Day Late

We take it all for granted, don’t we? Freedom to stroll down the street without fear. Freedom to say what we want when we want, positive and negative. Freedom to worship as we please and who we please. But at what cost?

Right now as I sit in my comfortable office someone in the West Bank is trying to decide if it’s worth the risk to go to the store. Someone else in Iraq is struggling to re-assemble their life after they lost home and loved ones. In Afghanistan they worry about whether the radical extremists will choose to target their neigborhood. But here I sit in my office looking out at a peaceful city.

Then I wonder about the cost to the American’s who are protecting my freedom. The  men and women who leave behind their families and friends and comfortable homes to spend months in another world, fighting for my freedoms, fighting for our “rights”. I’m not a particularly patriotic person, but these people are definitely deserving of our respect and gratitude.

But still I come back to the question at what cost do I have these luxuries and freedoms? Is the cost worth the prize? I think it is, but I also think we tend to go past what is actually necessary cost-wise. We don’t need to support Jewish terrorizing of Palestinians, we don’t need to invade countries because we think they might someday soon attack us. We don’t need to ask so many young men and women their families to sacrifice so much. I believe we can maintain our freedom without having to take away the freedom’s of others. But maybe I’m too idealistic.

Either way, thanks to all those who have served and are serving to protect our freedoms. I know the cost isn’t cheap and I will try to savor my freedom every day.

An Irrevocable Calling

I am firmly Calvinist in my views. I’m not on the line, or unsure about how much I agree with Calvin. I’m there. Now, if you decide to throw out some random idea from Calvin that I’m not familiar with I may not be there, but with everything I know, it just makes sense. Especially predestination. This is not uniquely Calvinist, but it is definitely a foundation of Calvinism. It just makes sense to me. When I look at my life I don’t see any point where I would have stopped living my own way and turned and said to God, “Hey, I want to follow you and stop living like this”. Sure, after God stepped in and invited me in I followed, but I never would have come up with the idea on my own. I don’t think anyone would. But this whole predestination thing brings a new set of doubts. In high school I struggled with it a lot. Today I was reminded of the struggle.

Am I chosen? Has God called me or am I lying to myself? Now in the church there are several doctrines that tell us how we can know we are saved. But these to me are all intellectual. My senior year of high school my mentor gave me the one answer that has to this day quieted the doubting on both an intellectual and emotional level. She said to me “The fact you are asking the question is the proof that you are chosen”. God doesn’t play tricks. He’s not going to plant a desire to follow him in our lives unless he is truly calling us to follow him. He’s not cruel, he’s just. I mess up, I doubt my desire to follow God, I doubt my ability to follow God, I fail to turn the other cheek, sometimes I even am the one causing another to hurt. I am far from perfect and I still struggle every day with what it means to live for God. But I have been called. I can rest in the comfort that in all my inadequacy, through all of my doubt, despite my weakness- or perhaps because of it, God is working on bringing me to him. Every step whether forward or backward is a step closer to where God is drawing me. No matter what I do he has already layed claim to me, and no one and nothing can separate me from him (Romans 8:38-39).

Constructing Criticism

I have a rule for volunteers that they cannot speak poorly of the youth group, church, or specific people. The church also has this expectation of staff and leaders in the church. I think this is critical. I know that for the most part we wouldn’t go spouting off about every little thing that gets to us when we are in leadership roles in the church, but I also see how easy it would be for us to get caught up in our frustrations and complain to others about them. But I have a question about my policy and the church’s policy: What’s the line?

I want to be able to discuss areas for improvement in the church with more than just staff and my youth volunteers. I don’t really feel like I can’t do this, but at the same time I am aware that the church has said the staff is to show 100% support. So what is it okay for me to struggle with and criticize and what isn’t it? Is it going too far to say that I don’t feel the church is welcoming to young adults or that I think we could do better engaging with our surrounding community? Are these things okay when in discussion seeking genuine improvement and not just being thrown out there in broad conversation?

I’m not sure what the church’s answer would be. I think that they would support constructive criticism in appropriate situations. But I have decided to look at it from the perspective of me and the volunteers under me. What would I be okay with them doing? What is the line I would draw for them?

It’s fairly simple from my perspective really. But it’s also kind of hard to execute I think. In my opinion honest criticism for positive reasons (seeking improvement/resolution) is good. But let me know about it after words. If you have a discussion and things come up, I want to know what they are and what conclusions you have come to. Don’t pick on the little things- so you don’t like the music being so loud, talk to me about it, not a third person. You wish we would spend more time in prayer, tell me not someone else. If you are wondering why we don’t have more new people coming, go ahead and discuss it with someone else, but let me know what you talked about. I think that’s really what it boils down to.

I want to be in the loop. I want to know what’s going on in the minds of my leaders. I want us to all be on the same page.

That’s my new rule for myself as well. When I have a conversation about church I’m going to share it with my pastor. Maybe not all the details, but the relevant points. Because that’s what I would want.

Prayer Help

Out of all the different spiritual practices, prayer is probably my weakest. I’m pretty good at just talking with God, when a concern arises I’m good about praying on the spot for that thing, but beyond that I struggle. I’m a youth leader and I don’t like praying in group settings. I am not comfortable being as open and vulnerable as I usually am during my personal prayer times and this leads to me struggling with what to say. As I’ve struggled to find ways to improve my prayer life I have found several things that have helped. In honor of the National Day of Prayer I thought I would share a few things I have found that have helped me in my prayer life.

1. Journaling: When I was a teenager I really struggled with private prayer times. I would get distracted too easily and after 30 seconds my mind would wander someplace else. My mentor at the time suggested I journal my prayers. I already was journaling for other purposes, so I started to journal my prayers. It really helped me keep focused, and it’s great to be able to look back and see where my prayers were answered, how God was working in my life then, etc. I don’t journal as prayer nearly as much, but I find when there is a lot weighing on me it’s a great way to bring it all together.

2. Prayer Book: I’m reformed. We don’t have many (any?) sort of daily prayers, but my college professor was a huge advocate of using prayer books. I picked up a book and have found that it’s one of the best ways for me to pray when I have nothing to say. Usually I end up adding on my own words after the prayer. But there are just some days that the last thing I am feeling able to do is pray, and having something to use in those moments helps keep me praying.

3. Praying the Psalms: I found this incredibly awkward at first. It didn’t feel like a prayer when I would read a Psalm. But the more I have done it the more I like it. Now I use this every morning to start the day. I think in our culture today we have a problem with finding the words to really praise and glorify God. The Psalmists use some wonderful language, and are brutally honest.

4. Taize: They have free podcasts available that are about 10 minutes long. They are great for meditative worship and really provide a great framework for prayer because they are so intentional about incorporating various elements. Some people I have talked to find it boring and slow, but I find it forces me to slow down when I would otherwise rush through.

What things do you do that have helped you in your prayer life?

Swine Flu and Anthrax

During college I worked at an electronic repair shop. Well, during breaks and summer I worked there. One day I was working in the employee day care waiting for one of the boss’ to pick up her kids. Almost everyone had gone home already- it was just me and her 6 month old son and 4 year old daughter in the day care. There were a handful of other people around when things suddenly got interesting. She had opened a Christmas card and found white powder. She called whoever it is you call about suspicious powder and the police came and a bunch of other people to investigate what the substance was worrying it might be anthrax. Immediately the entire building was quarantined, what’s worse is we were told to stay where we were so that if we had not yet been affected by it we wouldn’t end up affected. Tents and tests were set up. I was stuck trying to keep a 4 year old and 6 month old happy for nearly 3 hours. The incident made it on the local news. It was after 8 P.M. by the time they determined it was not anthrax and we were allowed to go home.

I think the same thing is happening with the swine flu. I mean, we’re talking the flu, and a relatively mild case at that. I guess I just don’t get what the big deal is. There aren’t even 1000 people WORLDWIDE who have been confirmed as having this flu. Let’s not over react.