Stuff

I’m getting ready to move in about two weeks and so that means packing and cleaning and getting organized and trying to figure out what there is I can get rid of so I have less that I have to move. The only problem with this is that I always feel bad getting rid of things. I don’t necessarily like them or feel a strong desire to keep them, but I look at the candle holder I never use and think about how my friend would feel if I just got rid of it. And then I figure I better keep it because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, even though she wouldn’t actually know the difference. Well, I’ve moved twice in the past 3 times in the past 2 1/2 years, this will be time 4. I’m sick of hauling all this stuff I don’t care about around with me. So I went on a massive purge. Stuffed animals given to me as gifts, little knick knacks and souvenirs that I have no use for anymore, books, clothes, movies. I went through and filled box after box after box (okay, just 3 boxes, but still). Then I took it immediately to the Salvation Army and left it with them. It felt good when I did it. The next day I wanted to take it all back. Not because I wanted it now, but because I was like, well what if I wish I hadn’t gotten rid of it in a month or year or whatever? What if I end up wanting to read that book again in a couple of years? My emotions wavered from happiness that I finally got rid of all this unwanted stuff to doubt about whether I should have gotten rid of all of it. It’s been about a week now and I feel good about it. I don’t care if I need it again in a month or a year- I can go to the library or rent the movie or buy a new t-shirt like the one I got rid of.

I realized during this whole process that I am too attached to stuff. My reasons may not be so bad- I mean not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings seems like a pretty good reason on the surface- but the reality was that no matter what my reasons I was letting stuff have too much importance in my life. Now, to find a way to get rid of more of this stuff…that might be a bit too much for now.