Blessing

I don’t like to be vulnerable. I’m not sure who does really. It’s relatively easy to be “vulnerable” in the security of the online world, but reality is something different. In reality I don’t want to pretend to be perfect, I just don’t want to have to tell people what I’m struggling with, because it means I have to articulate some of the things I fear, some of the doubts I have, some of the struggles I’m dealing with, and risk their rejection. It’s also a struggle for me because I have had so many people in my life who I opened up to and lost. I realize this is life and that we need to continue opening our lives up to others, but it gets harder the more I get hurt.

But good friends don’t let you stay comfortable. They force you to honesty and vulnerability. They take the time to say hey, I’m going to sit here in silence with you until you are ready to share. I’m not going to rush you, but I’m not letting you off the hook. And it’s hard. But it’s beautiful.

And they didn’t judge and they didn’t try to solve things. They listened. They supported. It’s not easy for me to open up, even with people I know well and trust it’s still difficult to be honest and vulnerable. I would like to know who finds that easy. So thank you to those people who took the time to refuse to allow for the easy way out. Who didn’t settle for the simple answers. Who gave me room without letting me get out of it. I needed that. I need that more often. We need to spend more time waiting to hear so we can truly listen.